When you hear the word “neighborhood,” what image comes to mind? 

For me, I often visualize a residential street in the middle of a suburb, complete with sidewalks, trees, and single-family homes. 

For others, it might be a sprawling cityscape or a sparse countryside. 

And for others, even a military base or beachside bungalows. 

But despite the innumerable differences among these iterations, they are all neighborhoods. And how we define “neighborhood” has a lot to do with not only where we live now, but also where we grew up. 

I lived on a military base when I was very young, but I don’t really remember it. What I do remember are sidewalks, trees, and single-family homes in the middle of suburbia. Those spaces were where I spent most of my childhood, and why I typically associate that imagery with the concept of a neighborhood. 

As an adult, however, I’ve spent most of my time in cities. Big cities. First, Los Angeles for 15 years. And now, Chicago, going on three years. Owning (or even renting) a single-family home in some of these cities’ neighborhoods can be very difficult, if not straight-up impossible, for most residents. Apartment living, on the other hand, is the norm. And so, apartments are neighborhoods, too. 

Without yards and driveways to gather in, connecting with neighbors, engaging in community, and fostering a sense of belonging can prove more challenging. Especially in a high-rise behemoth of a building with hundreds of residents (like where I currently live). 

That said, in my many years of apartment dwelling, I’ve learned a lesson or two (or five!) about how to make authentic neighboring more accessible. 

1. Make eye contact 

I don’t mean in a creepy way. But if you happen to lock eyes with one of your neighbors, resist the urge to look down at your phone. Instead, offer a smile. Say, “Hello!” Ask, “How are you?” Or, while you’re exiting the elevator, tell that person to have a nice day. A little effort goes a long way. 

2. Talk to the animals 

I’m no Dr. Doolittle, but I do consider myself to be a bit of a dog whisperer. The number of neighbors I’ve met and gotten to know through their pets is truly remarkable. On the flip side, the number of neighbors who have approached me because they wanted to meet my dog is too high for me to count. Not everyone is into animals, and that’s okay. But if you are, this is a low-pressure way to break the ice. 

3. Tap into common interests 

You’d be amazed at how many neighborly conversations I’ve had over a to-go bag from a local restaurant: “Oh, I’ve heard of that place. Was it any good? Where is it exactly?” I’ve even started chats because I admired a neighbor’s wardrobe: “That hat is so cute! Where did you get it? Oh, I’ve walked by that store lots of times!” Not only are these common interests a launchpad for deeper connections, but they may even help you discover more to explore in your neighborhood. Because your apartment is a neighborhood and is in a neighborhood, learn to enjoy it.

4. Get involved 

This may sound intimidating or overwhelming, but it really doesn’t have to be. When I moved to Chicago, I didn’t know anyone. (At least, not in the city; my family and friends all live in the suburbs.) On top of that, I work from home, so it’s not like I can meet people by going into an office. But, while walking my dog one day, I stumbled upon a farmers market put on by the local neighborhood association. I learned that they host a monthly mixer for young professionals in the area, and it turned out to be exactly what I was looking for. Not only have I met new people and made new friends, but I’ve also had the opportunity to give back to the neighborhood through various volunteering efforts.  

Flash forward more than two years, and I now sit on the board of directors for this community group. That may not be the right move for you (depending on your neighborhood and the number of events, it can be a big time commitment), but you can start small. Attend one event. Pitch in at a cleanup. Exchange some phone numbers. And you’ll be off to the races! 

5. Read the signs 

Literally. If you live in an apartment complex, chances are that there are spaces to promote community news and events. These could be in the elevators, at the lobby desk, on a bulletin board, or even online. In my building, the management office shows appreciation for residents by offering on-the-go breakfasts, Halloween costume competitions (featuring our pets!), and rooftop cookouts during the summer. These are all great ways to meet your neighbors, so take advantage of them! 

These are just a few tips that come to mind to treat your apartment building like a neighborhood. Have others to share? Leave them in the comments! 

For More Ideas on How to Get to Know Your Neighbors (even in an apartment building) check out these blogs: